Monday, November 10, 2008
November 8, 2008
I don't know when I'll actually write a blog in Bradford, but today I'm on the east coast in the sea-side town of Scarborough, which manages to draw in tourists even in November. After eating fish and chips, I walked to the beach and stood, talking to myself, and hopefully to God for half an hour. I was honest--my bitterness, my desires, my fears, everything was transmitted into those waves. I went to the sea today because I believed God would be there. Or maybe just really hoped God would be, because I needed God to be. What else can you do when you have no answers, then to go where you think God is. Watching the waves and hearing the tide coming in is for me as close as I can get to my idea of God. It doesn't take long to feel connected to some terrific mysterious power when I just stand and watch and listen. I picked up a rock, dubbed it a testament to the conversation. I whisked the rock into the waves, turned around and went back to the train station.
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2 comments:
Well, I was surprised to find out about recent changes but am glad to hear that at least you are at peace with your decision. I hope you'll let us know what's next for you. I'm sending extra prayers your way.
Lee, I really wish I could send a palpable hug to you. You´re in my prayers. I hope we will see you at the re-entry retreat, but regardless of whether that happens or not, I hope your re-entry into the familiar (I know that is a relative term, given your wandering nature) goes smoothly and proves a blessing to you.
I take encouragement from your honest description of seeking desperately after the voice of God in a time of need. It is my sincerest hope to be both wise enough to do likewise, and vulnerable enough to be open about it, as you have been.
Blessings and love,
Dorothea
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