I need to find a gym. Despite the huge amount of walking I'm doing, I feel it's inevitable that one day soon I will wake to find myself an ox.
I may be on a different continent and doing a year of service, but I can't seem to shake my intrinsic and overwhelming need for travel and exploration. Some may call it restlessness. I call it embracing myself.
Today I'm in York. It's one of the most beautiful and historic cities I've seen. Sure, there are a lot of tourist traps and I haven't been immune to those. But there is history everywhere. The York Minster is about 800 years old. It's built on the site where Constantine was appointed the First Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire, around 300 AD. Nearby is the shambles, narrow stoned streets with age-old shops hanging over your head. I walked into a weaponry shop where you can buy a flail, a wooden stick connected to a chain with a spiky iron ball on the end. Imagine trying to make it through customs with that baby. Then there's York's reputation fo being haunted. I'm the type that likes to watch shows like 'Ghost Hunters' on the Discovery Channel. Still, I must be careful to separate the fascinating, possibly real and yet corny Ghost exhibits from the ridiculous, obviously fake and hit-myself-over-the-head-I-can't believe-I-paid-10-pounds-for-this Ghost exhibits.
More closely related to the Radical Journey program, I'm beginning to become comfortable with the notion of being uncomfortable a majority of the time. Like my predecessor Matt Yoder said, paraphrasing, 'I didn't do Radical Journey to be comfortable.' Matt was referring to his outlook after having been robbed in the very flat in which I now live. After spending the first part of the year in comfortable solitude of the Pacific Northwest, I guess it's only fitting that I now feel like a salmon out of water. There are expected reasons and some causes I didn't expect for feeling this way. Living in a different country and working with children are things I expected to be daunting. I have to say I am more comfortable with the culture and the children than I had envisioned. I didn't necessarily think the tension, confusion and misunderstandings within our team would be as high. It is pointless to avoid the reality that our different outlooks, places in life, differences related to gender as well as religious and social beliefs are larger hurdles than I had thought. It will take time to become more comfortable, open, vulnerable, understanding, and trusting. All those things might be overstated but cannot be understated, especially in a program like this.
Thankfully there is something that I have been drawing on that never runs out, and that is the appreciation and knowledge of myself that I have taken from recent experience. That self-knowledge manifests itself as a quiet strength and undying belief that this is where I need to be, and gratefulness to myself for having decided to do this with the knowledge that there would be times when I wanted to quit. I admit that I have carried some motives for this program that could be diversive to the intentions of the program. However, I have faith that I will give of myself, maybe in ways that I won't even realize, and that I will be given what I need from the experience to prepare me for the next thing. Perhaps I can carry this same attitude of grace for myself and apply it to others as I continue to enter into uncomfortable situations with those who see the world differently. Who knows, I may make some lifelong friends.
Here's to many more adventures...
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Week 5
Sat in on a class of Year 3 children (3rd graders) today, Oct 9. There was a substitute teacher. It reminded me of how "easy" it used to be with subs because they aren't aware of how the class is supposed to go.
I met their usual teacher in the lounge. His name is Colin Fieldhouse; he's around my age. I can see it'll be good to work with another young man. It's going to take some time to feel more comfortable with the girls, especially while adjusting to a new country simultaneously. Sometimes they rush to decisions without including me and there are big adjustments with the distinct ways in which we communicate. If it was going to be easy there wouldn't be much reason to do it--something I often told myself in San Francisco while taking on new challenges.
In Chicago it was a little overwhelming to share a living space with so many others. Now, there's a more familiar feeling of moving to a new place and a sense of having my work cut out for me. Our hosts, the Reverends Paul Flowers and Paul Bilton, have many possible volunteer positions for us to consider. I have my mind on a few. But it is still the first week here, and it may take a few weeks until my schedule becomes established. In the meantime, it is anxious but slowly becoming more comfortable to be here.
We met the Radical Journey coordinator for Europe, Tim Foley, who resides in Northern Ireland. He gave us a tour of downtown Bradford. It's a more appealing town than I expected. There are many pubs and cafes. The old buildings have an industrial look but they have their charm as well. The spectacular city hall is modeled from Florentine architecture.
We've had several impressive meals, including two at the Biltons, who live only a 5-minute walk away. They own hens that strut around their driveway. One hen, Alice, has an injured foot and stays in the house. On three separate evenings we've plopped on the Bilton's sofa while the Pauls, their friends Barry and Val, and additional guests have bantered away in their northern English accents. So flawless is their timing in preserving the flow of the conversation that their interactions resemble a play.
I met their usual teacher in the lounge. His name is Colin Fieldhouse; he's around my age. I can see it'll be good to work with another young man. It's going to take some time to feel more comfortable with the girls, especially while adjusting to a new country simultaneously. Sometimes they rush to decisions without including me and there are big adjustments with the distinct ways in which we communicate. If it was going to be easy there wouldn't be much reason to do it--something I often told myself in San Francisco while taking on new challenges.
In Chicago it was a little overwhelming to share a living space with so many others. Now, there's a more familiar feeling of moving to a new place and a sense of having my work cut out for me. Our hosts, the Reverends Paul Flowers and Paul Bilton, have many possible volunteer positions for us to consider. I have my mind on a few. But it is still the first week here, and it may take a few weeks until my schedule becomes established. In the meantime, it is anxious but slowly becoming more comfortable to be here.
We met the Radical Journey coordinator for Europe, Tim Foley, who resides in Northern Ireland. He gave us a tour of downtown Bradford. It's a more appealing town than I expected. There are many pubs and cafes. The old buildings have an industrial look but they have their charm as well. The spectacular city hall is modeled from Florentine architecture.
We've had several impressive meals, including two at the Biltons, who live only a 5-minute walk away. They own hens that strut around their driveway. One hen, Alice, has an injured foot and stays in the house. On three separate evenings we've plopped on the Bilton's sofa while the Pauls, their friends Barry and Val, and additional guests have bantered away in their northern English accents. So flawless is their timing in preserving the flow of the conversation that their interactions resemble a play.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
